I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
it glows. i had to have it.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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