Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
