Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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