i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
