I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
