Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
