I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
