mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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