Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
