My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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