it's too hot outside to masturbate.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
