eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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