just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
