but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
