u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
