doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
