So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
