This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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