Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
my sisters under your porch take her home
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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