having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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