i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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