Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
