The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
