dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
