So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
