at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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