He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
