We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
did i just pee glitter
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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