she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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