the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
