Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
