i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
