sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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