Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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