Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He shit in the fireplace
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