take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Everyone says I win the strip club
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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