I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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