You work out of a Hotel?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
