We won't sleep together?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
