you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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