i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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