If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
