I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Randomize
