Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
