Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
