And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
