Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
