I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
