I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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