love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
